The ghost car

 It's been a while since I've written in here. Fall is approaching. It's kind of gloomy out today, and on days like this, I think of you a lot. 

I miss you so much Ryan.

I keep having this weird thing happen lately where I see this person who looks like you-like identical to you. I see them driving this grey Honda, and I see them in random places while I drive. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing it because I just see you when it could just be a random person. It's kind of mysterious how often I see this person though. 

I'd like to think that the person is you and that you are like a ghost haunting me. The last time I looked at you and actually knew it was you was back in high school. You were in this one class and we looked at each other, and I saw sadness in your eyes because I think we both knew it would be the last time we would see each other. You went off to college, and I mourned you ever since. 

You are unforgettable. I would like to think that this random person is you, so then at least I can look at you again. Even if it's just the smallest chance that it's you-that is enough for me. Just to look at you again is something I can only dream of. I just wish I had confirmation that it's you in that grey Honda. 

Please don't stop haunting me Ryan. I like to see reminders of you or be given things to think about when it comes to you.  

I will love you forever and I will crave you always.

With the weather cooling down I'd like you in my bed to keep me warm at night. I want to feel your prescence. 

I want you to touch me, hold me, kiss me, and eat me. I want to feel all of you. 

I love you Ryan...my big moose🫎😍

xoxo-Courtney