I'm only meant to be with you

 

Well Ryan I went out on a date with my 41 year old coworker and of course it didn't work out. When he kissed me it felt weird. I think I just enjoyed flirting with him at work because I was bored, but then outside of work, I'm like hell nah he ain't even attractive lol. Then the whole time I was just thinking about how I'd rather be at home in bed. I feel like everyone who I try to date, I get tired of after only a few hours. I feel like I'm so in love with you that I can't like anyone else. I just can't feel anything for anyone else because I know who I want and who I crave. I know who I'm meant to be with, and it's you Ryan Kelly. 

I don't even know why I try dating sometimes when I already know it's not going to work. I think I'm just scared that you will never want me Ryan, and that I'll waste my most fertile years waiting for you. You may never want me, but I'll try to be patient and give it a few more years. 

If I'm being honest, I can't envision my life with anyone else. When I think of love, I think of you. I've always imagined you. I can't even picture someone else. You are my life force, you are what pulls me, you make me feel human. You make me feel so safe. Sometimes it feels like we are in our own little universe. I know I crave you more than anything else in this world. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I know nobody is going to make me feel the way you do. When we kissed that one time Ryan, you transported me somewhere else. It was the best night of my life. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever felt. It was the most connected I ever felt to someone. I have felt nothing close ever since. You are my soulmate Ryan Kelly.

I'm only meant to be with you. 

xoxoxo-Court