Apocalypse

 Ryan, oh how I wish I knew if our love is real, or if it's all in my head. Sometimes I feel like you are there but I'm so scared of it not being real that I don't do anything, I don't move, because the truth scares me. I hope I'm not mentally ill. I want us to be real, our love to be real. I crave you Ryan Kelly and I want you to touch me so bad. I feel touch-deprived and a little lonely, but I don't want anyone but you. I wonder if you ever feel the same way about me too, or if it's all one-sided. I want you forever. It's my birthday today, but it does not feel as special as I want it to be since I want you here. I crave you to touch me, to get freaky with me, for everything in my imagination to play out. I want that more than you will ever know. You are my ultimate fantasy, my dream. I want to feel the thrill you give me, your electricity. I hope you never forget me. I hope you ever move on, I hope you never see another girl in the same way as me. 

I always think back to that night that we kissed for hours. You took me somewhere else. You had so much power inside of you. Our chemistry was so strong and I can still feel it pulsing throughout me just by thinking of you. You give me butterflies. I imagine you kissing me like that again. I've never met anyone else who gave me that same special feeling that you give me. I don't know why you don't just ask me out already. I miss you more than you will ever know. 

I love you Ryan.