Thoughts Lately..

 I reminisce on the past a lot, always thinking of you. I can't help but feel like I lost you, and you became uninterested. I don't know why I feel this way, it could just be that I feel alone. I thought once I moved back home I'd feel less alone, but I still feel alone. It's because I don't have you Ryan, and I just don't feel complete without you. 

Talking to myself helped a lot with loneliness, but now that I'm home I'm too scared to talk to myself because my family is around. Back when I used to talk to myself I imagined I was talking to you, and it made me feel less alone.  

I want you to desire me, back like how we were back in the day. I remember getting super wet on the bed, and you teasing me and spitting on my wet pussy, making my legs shake, and making me ache deeply for you

I miss those moments

I think I feel insecure about my body, and I don't feel that attractive sometimes. I've been trying to lose weight, but I'm still not happy with where I'm at, so I hide my body. I want to try to open my legs and show my body at night, to reminisce on the old times. I know you're not there, but maybe that would help me gain confidence back. Being vulnerable, and imagining you're there ready to eat me. I also like to tease myself too so that might be fun to start doing that again lol. 

I wish I could tell him to his face, "I love you Ryan, and I wish you realized how much I love you. I wish we could rebuild together because I've always known that me and you were meant to be. So give me a chance, and I promise you won't regret it."

xoxo-Court