All a dream

 Well my therapist thinks that I hold you at such a high tier but all you've ever done is be a jerk to me by not messaging you back. She straight-up called you a jerk. She thinks the right guy is out there for me but it might not be you. My thing is that I will always want you Ryan but I just want to know if you're really there or not. I just need closure, it's either you want me or you don't. I really want you but I'm tired of it being some hopeless pursuit. I just want to come home on fall break so maybe I can get the confirmation I need that you're really there. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever have a true confirmation though because maybe I'm just in my head with it all. I know I will never get over you and I always have this dream of you in my head being my husband. But what if it's all a dream. 

Desire and love driven by pure imagination 

Right now I'm just trying to focus on myself and get better but I do really hope that you become apart of the picture. 

I'll leave it at that