I'm at war in my mind

 It's been hard without you Ryan. Sometimes I feel like I'm at war with myself and all I want is you. When I think of you I feel safe, I feel loved, I feel protected, when I feel like you're with me. I get this special feeling that I can't describe when I feel like you're with me, and no one has ever come close to that feeling. 

It sounds hopeless sometimes to still imagine that there might still be a possibility of us, but I never want to stop believing in us.

 I always wonder if I'm just in love with my mind, because you may just be a figment of my imagination. 

I just hope that you and me are real. That our love is real, and not just one-sided. 

I always have loved you, and I always will love you. 

I've been busy lately so that helps keep me occupied so I'm not just hopelessly romanticizing about you all day, but I still think of you always, even when I'm busy. 

I love you forever

xoxox-court