Born Ceaselessly Back Into The Past

 As I think of you, I get born ceaselessly back into the past. Five years later and I'm still in love with you, and I'll never get over you. I remember the first time I ever saw you you just enlightened the room like I've never seen before. I've never met anyone else with that same energy. I have been with so many people, always looking for pieces of you in someone else, but it's never happened. And the truth is that no one will ever be like you. You are just simply so rare I'll never meet someone else like you in my life. You are simply the love of my life, my light, my everything. I remember the way you looked at me when you first saw me. It was like sparks flying through the air, and ever since then I've been obsessed with you. You never wanted to admit it, but I knew deep down that you liked me too. I remember when I used to watch the sunset every day and all the colors reminded me of you. I remember that first time you watched me watch the sunset. I never knew if it was really you, but I always felt like you were there with me, watching it together. And I remember the first time I told you I loved you, you were lying beside me in bed with your hand on my heart. And it was beating so fast, and I remember in that exact moment was the first time I realized I loved you for the first time. And I was so nervous to say it, and I heard the train in the background tooting it's horn, and that's when I said it. And from there on out, I've been always in love with you. I remember the first time you came in my bed too, it was the day before new years and I remember having a two-sided blanket. And I remember I woke up with the other side on me when there would be no way it would have done that. And for some reason, I just felt like you had been there. And I remember the very next day I lost my mind and went insane over you right on new years day. During that time I imagined a world with you in it, and I believed it because I was mentally crazy, but I loved every minute of it. That was the time where I felt the closest to you. My insanity was complex and my world was twisted, but the one thing I remember is when you told me that you would never leave me, not even for one second, and that's stuck with me ever since. I truly felt as though you were there. When I became sane again, I realized that you could actually be there for real. I've always felt like you've always been there for me every second, through everything. The ups, the downs, and everything in between. I just wish I could feel closer to you like how I once did. I always fantasize about living my life with you, but I just don't think it will ever happen. And I can't understand why because I think I'm the most amazing girl out there.